Some say that a relationship without conflict means lacking passion. Well I beg to disagree, My boyfriend and I have been together for more than two years now, and until now, we haven’t had any fights, and yet, I can honestly say that we are loving each other each passing day.
Wanna know how we do it?
1. LEARN TO LISTEN.
Your partner will feel worthy, highly-appreciated, and respected, if you know how to listen to him/her. Always keeping your mind open to his/her idea. Rushing into conclusion without spending time listening will not make any situation good.
Here’s a tip. To know how to earnestly listen to someone, think about how you would want other people to listen to you. It is like putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. Be sincere in listening. Remember, you can’t listen and talk at the same time. Good communication between couples, start with an open heart, open mind and open ears.
2. LEARN TO SPEAK YOUR MIND
Misunderstandings in a relationship is inevitable. You are two different individuals with different wants, needs and ideas, not to mention, raised from different families, environment, norms and culture. There will be times that you won’t understand each other but you should never let your emotion dictate your actions, or cloud your thoughts.
When you feel angry take a few minutes or hours to calm yourself. You can do this by doing something productive like washing the dishes, doing the laundry or cleaning the car. Believe me, if both in a heated discussion, being hot-headed will never solve anything, you will just end up fighting even more. When both of you are in a more “amicable” state, find time to sit down and discuss the issues at hand. Addressing the issue, rather than assaulting the person will solve the problems faster. Remember to put aside your pride. Throw away the “I’m right, you are wrong” idea.
Let each other have the chance to say what he/she feels without interruption.
Plus, before things go sour or worse, try to the speak to your partner about the issue or concern. Issues, whether big or small, can be settled if the two of you put your time into it addressing the issue/s before it is too late. Remember, even in this case, “prevention is better than cure.”
3. GIVE AND TAKE
A healthy relationship is like a two-way street. Both sides need to give and to take. A lopsided relationship favoring only one party will not result in a good ending. It will only lead to a misunderstanding or to a fight and even breakup. It takes two to tango. It’s not called a “partnership” if only one benefits and the other suffers. Remember having a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is a precedent to a life as married couple – willing to share the ups and downs of life.
It should be a wake-up call for you already if your boyfriend/girlfriend can’t stand on the idea – what more if you will be living as married couples.
4. LOVE YOUR PARTNER
Love can be measured not just during good times, but more importantly during bad times. So, even if you are in an argument or a fight show your love and affection to your partner. I know this a hard thing to do, but you have to, if you want your relationship to last.
Never ever get tired of trying to win them over again by virtue of real love and not out of “ignorance”.
Saying sorry sometimes is so hard for individuals to say. Loving your partner means… loving him or her DESPITE of the imperfections he or she has.
Always remember this bible verse when you are in the verge of a discussion or heated debate:
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 New Living Translation
”A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34 English Standard Version